Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
