Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.

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  (919): I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/250u
  Replies (24) Good night (2881) Bad night (737)
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  (650): View more from California

  just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

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  (650): just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low. http://tfl.nu/fwog
  Replies (60) Good night (1410) Bad night (2596)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.

  (845): View more from New York

  Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.

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  (845): I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell. (845): Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts. http://tfl.nu/04jv
  Replies (18) Good night (7401) Bad night (1032)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

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  (317): I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking. http://tfl.nu/ymvd
  Replies (52) Good night (3903) Bad night (1035)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.

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  (410): I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/uvgg
  Replies (14) Good night (5444) Bad night (1062)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner

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  (413): also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner http://tfl.nu/h4oj
  Replies (4) Good night (2247) Bad night (1083)
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  (408): View more from California

  I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.

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  (408): I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/0k63
  Replies (17) Good night (3074) Bad night (1363)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (2026) Bad night (783)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.

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  (317): No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored. http://tfl.nu/emh2
  Replies (15) Good night (1700) Bad night (645)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

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  (203): I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion http://tfl.nu/g8mo
  Replies (11) Good night (2797) Bad night (574)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.

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  (561): I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree. http://tfl.nu/yxk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1546) Bad night (562)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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  (416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0
  Replies (9) Good night (937) Bad night (1422)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".

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  (713): So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom". http://tfl.nu/chqv
  Replies (8) Good night (904) Bad night (372)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.

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  (801): I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck. http://tfl.nu/p42i
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (351)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...

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  (+44): I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed... http://tfl.nu/4mc8
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (601)

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