Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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  (323): I totes stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility. http://tfl.nu/gvmp
  Replies (57) Good night (5956) Bad night (667)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.

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  (269): sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house. http://tfl.nu/i822
  Replies (16) Good night (3049) Bad night (1290)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final

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  (970): i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final http://tfl.nu/shle
  Replies (34) Good night (968) Bad night (5497)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.

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  (813): i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far. http://tfl.nu/5l3l
  Replies (17) Good night (3970) Bad night (1435)
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  (916): View more from California

  i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

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  (916): i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/z9dc
  Replies (50) Good night (7844) Bad night (893)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.

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  (703): She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning. http://tfl.nu/a0no
  Replies (8) Good night (3620) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety

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  (978): I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety http://tfl.nu/5zfx
  Replies (7) Good night (2525) Bad night (1056)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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  (360): It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink? http://tfl.nu/zyp6
  Replies (5) Good night (1009) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking

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  (310): first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking http://tfl.nu/y6y1
  Replies (8) Good night (2481) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Here's my first problem: I'm drunk

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  (517): Here's my first problem: I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/3w5g
  Replies (13) Good night (2004) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!

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  (918): You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner! http://tfl.nu/v9u1
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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  (802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent

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  (+64): I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent http://tfl.nu/sl7e
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete

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  (970): This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete http://tfl.nu/utyk
  Replies (4) Good night (225) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me

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  (217): Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me http://tfl.nu/45vc
  Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (163)

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