how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
