I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
