If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
