remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
