so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I love having hate sex.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize