I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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