I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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