How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
