Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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