just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
