Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize