Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
