I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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