Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
