Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Life is so much better after having sex.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
