R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So how was he last night?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.