Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?