Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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