I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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