found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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