You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
