escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
