I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
