I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
