I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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