I'm pants shitting drunk right now
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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