I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I need a burrito and a hug.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
