i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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