I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
