he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
