He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He? As in you personified your dick?
So vagazzling was a success
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize