You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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