I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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