it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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