maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
