I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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