they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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