While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
