In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I stole a fireplace last night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
