evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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