WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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