i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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