I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
