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Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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