Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.