I wish you could order shots online.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
