my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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