dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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