like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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