Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
