He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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