Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
there is puke in my bra ... again
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
