The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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