That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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