I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
