If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize