My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
