Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All the doctor said was why
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
