Buhtt sex?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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