Apparently you make a good broom.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
