and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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