As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Shame is for Republicans.
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