I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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