Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
