there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
