tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
